I Can: The Power of Belief

My daughter loves monkey bars. We aren’t talking like when we are at the park and she plays on the monkey bars. I’m talking about seeking places out and judging them based on the monkey bar quality.

A determination to get from one side of the other in as many creative ways as possible: Skipping one bar, skipping two bars, jumping from the platform to the third bar. Nothing makes this child happier than being able to swing on some bars.

Fear of Failure

My daughter's also sometimes scared to try new things, doesn’t like it when she isn’t the best, and hates when she isn’t able to do something.

So, let me paint you a picture of last Saturday:

My kids and I debated what park we should visit. My son had his mind set on Strawberry Creek Park, while my daughter had her heart and mind set on Cordinices Park.

So we did what any two people with opposing agendas would do: We played Rock, Paper, Scissors. Much to my daughter's dismay, her brother put his paper over her rock, and a full-on six-year-old meltdown ensued while a four-year-old did his walk of victory to Strawberry Creek Park.

Let me tell you what this meltdown looked like. She was hitting anyone who came within a three-foot radius of her. There were tears (so many tears). There was name-calling, whining, and, of course, the yelling mantra, “I’M NOT GOING!”. No doubt it was a typical Saturday.

After much negotiation and maybe a bribe for ice cream (I know I’m a communicator for a living, but I’m also a human), I got Roslyn to the park.

Naturally, Roslyn went straight for the monkey bars. She tried to go from the platform to the first bar and fell. I walked over and helped her get to the first handle, but she fell again while trying to get to the second handle. After three tries, she screamed, “I told you I hate this park! These monkey bars are stupid! I CAN’T DO IT!”.

And she wasn’t wrong. These monkey bars are way more complex than the ones at the other parks in our area. There isn’t a platform to launch from, just a tiny slab of wood. They are higher than normal, and to add insult to injury, they aren’t even bars. They are handles. This is a park she has been to four dozen times. She had tried the monkey bars before and wrote them off as something she could never do and was sticking to that story.

The Power of Belief

As I held her in my arms while she cried, I said, “Baby, here’s the deal. If you keep saying, “I can’t do it,” I believe you never will, but what if you try and instead say, “I CAN do these monkey bars?”  If you say to yourself, “I can,” I have no doubt you will get to the other side by the end of the day.” 

She looked at me like I was crazy, but after some convincing, whining, and pouting, she agreed to try. She stepped up onto the platform. I looked at her and said, “Now repeat after me. I CAN DO IT,” she whispered and mumbled, “i can do it.” She proceeded to try, but fell immediately to the ground.

I said, “Baby, scream it! Say, I CAN DO IT!” After some coaxing, she stood on that platform, looked at me, and yelled, “I CAN DO IT!” Once she said it, I saw that defeated pout turn to a determined stare. She stepped off the platform to the first bar and then fell again. She stepped back onto the platform, looked at me, and said, “I CAN DO IT.” She went from the platform to the next handle to the next handle until she was on the other side in complete disbelief and PROUD of doing the impossible.

What You Believe You Become

Oprah once said, “What you believe you become.”  I saw this firsthand on those monkey bars.  This week, if you have a limiting belief of “I can’t,” I dare you to try putting “I can” in its place.  It could be a small thing like cooking a meal, starting that workout routine, or a big thing like changing your career or getting a divorce.  I would love for you to tell me what happens.